A Mirror on Masculinity
When was the last time you took a long hard look at yourself?
Sometimes, we don't realise that we're "performing" until we stop.
We get so used to always being "on", to presenting the version of ourselves that we think will best help us to navigate the world around us.
We often have to draw on different personas or characteristics of our personality depending on who we're interacting with - whether that's work, or family, or the hook-up that we've lined up for a Tuesday night.
It's rare that we have the head-space to slow down, to pause, to breathe. It's rare that we have a moment to just strip off and look at ourselves in the mirror - to ask ourselves: Do I like what I see? Is this who I want to be?
Model: Pawel. Photographer: Gareth Johnson.
Everything around us is telling us how lonely we all are. Humans are social creatures - connecting with others is essential but it's also important to connect with ourselves.
In order to connect with yourself, you've got to drop the mask, you've got to allow yourself to be vulnerable, you've got to give yourself space to recognise that maybe everything isn't perfect, that you have got room for growth, that maybe there's areas of your life in which you're feeling dissatisfied or unfulfilled.
Model: Pawel. Photographer: Gareth Johnson.
Staring at yourself in the mirror - literally taking some time out for reflection - may leave with you more questions than answers.
That's okay. It's okay to be uncomfortable or uncertain. It's okay to recognise that you've still got work to do to figure out how you're going to move forward.
While you shouldn't feel pressured to rush into action, if you're embarking on a new chapter then why not start writing that story? Even if you aren't able to articulate exactly where you're heading, start making some of the changes that will help progress you in that direction and start to build your momentum.
A useful starting point is to try and figure out what is important to you. What are the things that you value the most? What deserves most of your time and attention and energy? Then, try and attach some actions that demonstrate your focus.
For example, most of us will list our health as one of the things that we value the most - everything becomes a lot harder if our wellbeing is suffering. What are you doing to reflect the value that you put on your health? What are some positive changes that you could make? It could be as simple as booking in for a check-up with your medical practitioner, or you might want to get some support with your diet or fitness.
Another example might be happiness - we all want to be happy, right? Happiness is a bit more complicated to unpack but if you're feeling happy then you're generally experiencing feelings of joy, contentment, and fulfilment - you're not only feeling good but also you have a sense that your life has meaning and purpose.
You may find articulating your sense of purpose a bit of a challenge - we're so busy "doing" that we often don't think about "why" - so start by putting some actions around the things that make you feel good. If cooking for others makes you feel good, find ways to do more of that. If volunteering at your local food bank makes you feel good, find ways to do more of that.
It's important to be kind to yourself. The world around us is complicated. There are lots of things that are beyond our control. Our reflection may not match our aspiration but we're all a work in progress, we're all just doing the best we can.
Make some time to stand in front of your mirror, strip off, and take a long hard look at yourself. Connect with the man that you see. Together, you're writing the next chapter of your story.
Model: Pawel. Photographer: Gareth Johnson.
See more entries in the Dick Diaries - chronicling a catalogue of cocks.
Gareth Johnson is a London-based photographer and host of the Naked Men Talking podcast.