I’m 62, Naked, and Apparently I Need Support Hose

There are certain things I have always associated with getting old.

Early-bird dinners. Pill organizers. Complaining about the thermostat. And support hose.

Support hose were definitely on the list.

Then TikTok came for me.

I was watching a podiatrist who said something along the lines of this: At the end of the day, take off your socks and look at your ankles. Are there deep marks where your socks were? Do your ankles look puffier than they did in the morning? Do your shoes feel tighter later in the day?

Well, shit.

I looked down.

Apparently, my ankles had been trying to send me a memo.

What the Hell Is Edema?

I knew the word edema, but I had never given much thought to what it meant. Edema is swelling caused by fluid collecting in your tissues, and the feet, ankles, and legs are common places for it to show up. Sitting or standing for long periods is one possible contributor. Problems with the veins returning blood from the legs toward the heart are another.

The circulation part fascinated me.

Your body spends the entire day fighting gravity. Blood gets pumped down into your legs easily enough. Getting it back upstairs requires some help. Your veins, their valves, and your calf muscles all play a role in moving blood back toward your heart. Cleveland Clinic even refers to the calf muscle pump as a sort of "second heart" because walking and flexing those muscles help push blood upward.

Suddenly those sock marks seemed a little more interesting.

And before anyone diagnoses themselves from an article written by a naked man on the Internet, swollen ankles have lots of possible causes. Some are harmless. Others deserve medical attention. New swelling, swelling in one leg, significant pain, chest pain, or shortness of breath are reasons to talk with a healthcare professional or seek urgent care, depending on the symptoms.

TikTok started this conversation. Your doctor should finish any medical diagnosis.

Get Those Legs Up!

One of the recommendations I heard was wonderfully simple: elevate your legs.

There is evidence behind this. Raising your legs above heart level helps reduce pressure in the veins and helps with some types of swelling.

I have incorporated this into my morning routine.

When I wake up, I turn myself sideways on the bed, put my feet up against the window frame, grab my phone, and start going through emails while gravity does its thing.

This position also leaves my butthole pointed directly toward my neighbors outside the window.

I get up very early. So far, they haven't complained.

Frankly, this might be one of the great advantages of nudism. Nobody has to explain why his pants are around his ankles when there were never any pants involved in the first place.

Then Came the Support Hose

The other suggestion was compression socks.

My immediate reaction was indignation. Support hose? Excuse me? I am only 62!

In my mind, support hose belonged to an entirely different generation. They belonged somewhere between orthopedic shoes and those plastic rain bonnets grandmothers kept folded in their purses.

Then I started reading.

Compression socks apply pressure to the lower legs, which helps reduce blood pooling and fluid buildup. Depending on the reason for swelling, healthcare professionals often recommend them to improve circulation and reduce swelling.

So, being the good little consumer I am, I went shopping.

And apparently support hose have had a makeover while I wasn't paying attention.

There are colors. Patterns. Different lengths. Different styles. Some look downright sporty. Nobody told me compression socks had escaped the medical-supply aisle.

I ordered some. And here's the surprise. I like them.

I like the gentle pressure around my calves. I like how my legs feel in them. I like pulling them on in the morning and knowing I am doing something intentional for my body.

This from a man whose preferred indoor wardrobe has traditionally consisted of nothing but footies.

Maybe "Old" Is the Wrong Question

That got me thinking about something bigger.

Nudism has taught me to question a lot of the ridiculous ideas we carry around about our bodies.

We spend decades being told what a body is supposed to look like. Smooth here. Firm there. Hair in these places but absolutely not those places. Hide this. Tighten that. Cover this part because someone decided it stopped being attractive after 45.

Then you become a nudist and eventually realize how much nonsense you have been carrying around.

Real bodies have scars. Bellies. Wrinkles. Veins. Moles. Sagging skin. Surgical marks. Hair. Missing hair. Knees that make strange noises. Ankles that swell.

And some of those bodies wear compression socks.

The question shouldn't be, "Does this make me look old?"

The better question is, "Does this help me take care of the body I have?"

There is an interesting contradiction in worrying about looking old while practicing nudism. We spend all this time preaching body acceptance, then sometimes draw the line when our bodies start showing evidence of age.

We'll happily take off our clothes in front of 100 strangers, but God forbid somebody sees us wearing support hose.

Screw that. I Want This Body for a Long Time

Maybe one of the next lessons in body acceptance isn't learning to love how your body looks. Maybe it's learning to care for your body without embarrassment.

Wear the hearing aids if you need them. Put on the reading glasses. Buy the sensible shoes. Stretch. Walk. Get your screenings. Elevate your legs. Ask questions when something changes. And if compression socks make your legs feel better and your healthcare provider thinks they're appropriate for you, wear the damn socks.

Getting older isn't something I intend to apologize for.

At 62, I don't want to spend my time trying to convince the world that I'm 42. I want to be 62 and take good enough care of myself that I get a shot at 72, 82, and beyond.

And if part of doing so means starting my morning naked, feet against the window frame, answering emails with my ass pointed toward the neighbors?

So be it.

Consider it preventative medicine with a view.