The Men Who Are Finally Giving Themselves Permission

You know who I’m in love with right now?

Straight men.

Not because I’ve suddenly developed a taste for football, power tools, or explaining to me why a particular truck is better than another truck. I’m in love with the straight men who are reaching out and asking questions about getting naked with other guys.

Some are asking about vacations.

“If I come on a naked vacation, is it going to be weird that I’m the straight one there?”

One is married and wants to spend time with the guys—maybe a little slap and tickle, perhaps, but also simply for the brotherhood of it.

Another has admitted that he wants to be submissive to a bunch of men.

Another, after years of marriage, has discovered that he has a thing for feminine femboys.

Honestly? None of this shocks me.

What does move me is that these men feel safe enough to say it out loud.

They’re not necessarily looking for a label. They may not be ready to redefine their entire lives. Some may still see themselves as straight. Some may be wrestling with what their desires mean, especially within a marriage or family. Those questions deserve honesty, care, and respect for everyone involved.

But desire doesn’t become less real simply because it arrives late.

What I admire most is their willingness to look honestly at a part of themselves they may have ignored, buried, or dismissed for years. They’re giving themselves permission to step toward a version of themselves they were never sure they were allowed to become.

That takes courage.

There may be uncomfortable conversations ahead. There may be uncertainty. There may be fear. But these men aren’t allowing fear to make every decision for them.

And I keep saying it over and over: life is short.

You can love your wife. You can love your children. You can take your responsibilities seriously. You can be a good man, a faithful friend, a devoted husband, and still acknowledge that there are parts of you that want to be seen.

There is plenty of you to go around.

For the men who are already out, already nudists, already exploring parts of themselves that once felt impossible, these stories should sound familiar. You know what it’s like to carry a desire quietly. You know what it’s like to wonder whether people will see you differently once you say the thing out loud.

You also know the relief that can come from no longer pretending.

So let me turn the question toward you.

What parts of your life have you become complacent with?

What have you stopped asking for because you decided it was too late, too strange, too inconvenient, or too far outside the role you’ve built for yourself?

What desires have you trained yourself not to name?

Maybe it has nothing to do with sex. Maybe you want to travel alone. Change careers. Wear something you’ve always considered too bold. Make new friends. Leave a relationship. Start over in a new city. Be softer. Be more adventurous. Be less concerned with what everyone else thinks.

Maybe you simply want to take your clothes off around other men and discover that the world doesn’t end when you do.

The point isn’t that everyone needs to become someone new overnight.

The point is that you deserve the chance to find out who you are when you stop automatically saying no to yourself.

That’s what I see in these men who reach out to me. They’re not broken. They’re not ridiculous. They’re not necessarily confused.

They’re curious.

They’re alive.

And maybe, for the first time in a long time, they’re allowing themselves to imagine that there might be more of life available to them than the version they’ve already learned how to perform.

I’m honored that they trust me enough to talk about it.

And I hope you trust yourself enough to start talking about it, too.